Muddy Bloody Factory


The Paintball Lifestyle

*Attention* Lil’ Timmy, do not let your mother read this blog post. Also, get off this website. You are too young.

Do you want to be a better paintballer? Well good thing Muddy Bloody Factory is here! All you have to do is buy! Buy! Buy! Confidence in your gear is everything. Purchase our gear to purchase your confidence!

I have often heard paintball is more than a sport or game, it is a lifestyle. At times, I have even termed Muddy Bloody Factory a “lifestyle brand.”

To be frank, it all sounded like a bunch of bullshit, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot more lately.

What the hell is a lifestyle brand?

What the hell is a lifestyle?

What the hell is “the paintball lifestyle”?

Throughout the week I drill, obsess over gear, watch videos, and chat online. I’ve built my networks and communities through the game. I plaster social media with photos of myself playing. I live for the next time I get to hit the field.

A cool paintball video for you to watch. No reason, just cool.

All of my preparation and anticipation pays off when I play, where I am really living, and doing it with style. Lil’ Timmy cowers in my wake, unless he has got mud in his veins. Then I aim to inspire him to victory, to crush his friends from the birthday party.

Muddy Bloody Factory sponsored player, Todd Winokur, of the team Local Resistance, leading lil’ Timmy to victory!
Photo by Reyna Acosta
A post Todd made in a Facebook group used to organize random team paintball events.
Photo by Leo Delos Reyes

From community building to technology, this is something I would have only dreamt of finding in an 1980’s Sci-Fi movie. Every weekend I get to be a motocross ninja cosplaying as a power ranger in an adventure game of ranged projectile tag. I use gear designed in a garage, tested in the backyard, made to crawl on my belly across gravel and through the bush. I play in the woods, junkyards, and bounce houses, where my full force double knee slides look cool as fuck.

Is this a double knee slide?
Photo by SAR Photography
It’s something full force alright.
Photo by SAR Photography
Yea no idea what’s happening, these photos are posted in order.
Photo by SAR Photography
Well, at least I think I look cool!
Photo by SAR Photography

What is a brand?

I like to think of it like a cattle brand for your brain, a psychological branding iron. It impresses an identity upon your brain where a symbol forms in the scar tissue. The symbol signifies who feeds you.

You want to be cool right? Or do you want to be a nerd? Don’t be a loser! Get muddy and bloody! Express yourself with our products, they will help you explore the world as your true self.

Purchase to inspire confidence in yourself! With this gear you can handle any situation no matter how muddy or bloody.

Purchase to look cool! Lil’ Timmy needs role models that get their hands dirty.

Purchase to be better at paintball!

Don’t ask, just buy!

To Consume The Paintball Lifestyle, Click Here

*Attention* Lil’ Timmy, if you are still here, go beg your parents to buy stuff from this website.